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It looks like solely yesterday I used to be taking part in Pillars of Eternity as a celebration of bears. Again in 2015 I created six ranger characters, had them every summon their bear companions, after which left the rangers behind and simply ran across the sport as Oops All Bears for some time.
Why? As a result of bears. And it labored for some time, too, as a result of for no matter purpose, Pillars of Eternity appeared utterly unprepared for bears to stroll across the map with out their homeowners at their sides. Enemies did not react to bears invading their strongholds, nobody obtained suspicious after they had been surrounded by six bears, and for some time I merely chewed a furry path of destruction by means of the sport.
Reduce to current day: Perhaps you have heard of a bit of sport known as Baldur’s Gate 3, an RPG which additionally has rangers who can summon bears? (And in addition druids who can grow to be bears after which have intercourse with folks whereas they’re in bear kind, apparently).
Because of camp companion Withers, I can respec my Baldur’s Gate 3 characters to make all of them rangers and summon their bears. So that is what I do. Sorry Wyll, Karlach, and Shadowheart—you are all rangers now, and when you every summon a bear I’ve no additional want of you.
Notice: Some story spoilers under for Act 1 of Baldur’s Gate 3.
Now that I am taking part in as Simply 4 Bears, it is time to see if I can full a pair quests. After setting off by means of the world (as bears) I occur upon a quest I utterly forgot to do after I began taking part in—liberating Lae’zel. She’s trapped in a cage dangling over a canyon, with two tieflings (Damays and Nymessa) giving her a tough time about being a hideous monster.
As I method the tieflings I discover the factor that occurred in Pillars of Eternity additionally appears to be occurring right here—nobody exhibits any concern that 4 bears are slowly surrounding them. I believe since this can be a scene that requires your character to talk to the tieflings, and my 4 precise characters are standing immobile a couple of hundred meters away, the scene is not really triggered. However I am nonetheless there, within the type of 4 bears.
Demise by bears”
Weirder, even after I determine to begin mauling the tieflings, turn-based fight does not start and the tieflings do not defend themselves. When Nymessa dies from a bear-slap, Damays dramatically screams “Nymessa! Noooo!”—however then he goes again to utterly ignoring all of the bears that simply murdered her. As soon as once more, taking part in as All Bears has utterly damaged an RPG.
I slap Damays to demise, too. 1 / 4 of a mile away, Wyll disapproves. Shut up, Wyll! For all you already know it was your bear that killed him.
Since bears cannot decide up the quick bow that is mendacity conveniently close by to shoot Lae’zel’s cage open, I can not really rescue her, so I depart her behind and confidently march, in bear style, to the close by ruins. If the bandits there turn into simply as clueless as the 2 tieflings I simply mauled, I am going to be capable to bear-slap them to demise with out a lot as a counter-attack! I am going to kill all the pieces on this sport with out ever taking a scratch?
Or, not. Seems these bandits are a lot much less receptive to A number of Bears strolling as much as them. Earlier than I am even shut, initiative is rolled, correct fight begins, and the bandits start leaping spryly across the ruins, firing poisonous arrows and casting spells. I am most involved with the spellcaster who shouldn’t be solely on the opposite aspect of the ruins however perched manner excessive up. As a celebration of Solely Bears I’ve no ranged assaults in any respect and he or she’s lighting up my furry butts with fireballs.
After an embarrassing begin that features a number of critically missed bear-slaps and two bears getting caught in twisting vines, I lastly kill a lot of the bandits, and by liberally bear-dashing and bear-jumping I handle to get three complete bears to encompass the spellcaster who was so silly she did not merely run away from the group of bears. Then it is slapping time.
Surrounded by bears”
As a bonus to profitable a battle with out dropping even a single bear, I observed there are crates littered across the ruins. Whereas my bears cannot open doorways or decide up a brief bow, I am delighted to find that they will transfer crates. I begin dragging crates again down the highway to Lae’zel’s cage, questioning if I can stack them up excessive sufficient to do some bear harm to her jail. Positive sufficient, I can leap up and ship a mighty freedom slap.
Bears fixing an issue”
Weirdly, fairly than thanking the group of bears that freed her, Lae’zel instantly teleports to my ranger characters who’re standing a pair hundred meters away so she will be able to yell at them. Effectively, effective. She needs to be completely satisfied that the get together restrict is 4, or I might be respeccing her Gith ass right into a ranger, making her summon a bear, and leaving her behind with everybody else.
I proceed exploring the world, as bears. I ultimately come throughout two males accosting an previous lady on the highway. Realizing that is D&D, I am instantly suspicious—for those who see two warriors confront a feeble previous woman you’ll be able to wager she’s a witch or a demon or a dragon in disguise or one thing. I determine to place my bears into sneak mode and creep nearer.
Sneaky bears”
I needn’t have been so cautious. Just like the tieflings, these persons are completely unconcerned by 4 Total Bears slowly belly-crawling by means of the forest of their path. Their argument continues till all my bears are standing inches away, watching. I ultimately slap one of many dudes, instakilling him, and the lady vanishes in a poof of magic. Ha! I knew she was one thing apart from simply an previous lady. The opposite dude instantly “succumbs to demise” and I don’t know why. Level is, my bear get together is completely crushing it.
I determine to not press my luck with the goblin village however head to a bridge I got here throughout in my regular, non-bear-centric playthrough. Final time I visited this spot it contained a dragon, a bunch of indignant Gith, a cutscene, and a collapsing bridge. Perhaps if my characters aren’t there the story sequence will not kick off, the bridge will not collapse, and I am going to be capable to cross it. Hell, perhaps I am going to be capable to bear-slap a dragon to demise with out him even noticing!
Sadly for my beautiful bears, none of that occurs. As my fourth bear reaches the bridge, a bunch of NPCs teleport in entrance of them, the bridge vanishes, a cutscene begins, the bridge reappears, and the dragon destroys it. Then completely everybody begins killing my bears.
4 bears meet a dragon”
Weirdly, the dragon stays sitting there through the bear bloodbath although it does not assault and I am unable to assault it. And I virtually handle to get one in every of my bears to sprint previous it and to freedom. Alas, some jerk fires a crossbow bolt from yards away and slays the ultimate bear. The scene goes darkish and I am observing my 4 bearless rangers midway standing immobile throughout the map.
Effectively, fascinating to see that taking part in as bears nonetheless confuses the hell out of a contemporary RPG! And my bears did not do too badly. We freed a companion utilizing physics, killed a couple of folks in unfair fights, and held our personal in opposition to a bunch of bandits. The one factor stopping us is the occasional cutscene and the shortage of opposable thumbs. Sometime, someway, I am going to win an RPG by taking part in as bears.
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