Within the period of D&D third version and its 3.5 replace, character constructing was a wild west. The sport’s complicated guidelines and deep customisation made it ripe for min-maxing—and an unbelievable barrage of first- and third-party growth content material meant there have been all the time new races, lessons, spells, and feats to fiddle with, often all hopelessly unbalanced in opposition to one another.
It was a time when each DM cringed on the sight of a participant dropping a brand new guide on the desk, however no less than for many the purpose was simply to place collectively a personality optimum sufficient to breeze via that fight encounter that took 4 hours to organize. A deviant few had darker designs in thoughts, and out at midnight corners of the Web (and the WOTC official boards), they conspired to interrupt not simply the stability of the sport, however the basic legal guidelines of its actuality.
The darkest and most ludicrous of those forbidden builds handed into on-line legend—and although that is maybe the place they need to’ve stayed, I’ve determined to dredge up just a few of my favourites for you right now. Name it a cautionary story for the 5e gamers of right now—what begins as some harmless experimentation with a Coffeelock construct can quickly take a flip.
Half-Ogre Spiked Chain Fighter
We’ll begin with a mild one—a basic construct robust sufficient to be game-ruining however not so contrived as to offer your group a headache.
Creator: Varied
The strategy
Fairly easy—simply make a Fighter with the half-ogre racial template to make your self Giant, then take the Fight Experience, Fight Reflexes, and Improved Journey feats. Oh, and get your self a spiked chain—one among 3.5’s most ridiculous weapon varieties.
The outcome
Giant creatures can assault enemies as much as 10 toes away; the spiked chain extends that attain to twenty. Get somebody to forged Enlarge Particular person on you, and that will increase to 25. Right here, 3.5’s Assault of Alternative guidelines kick in, and principally any time somebody tries to maneuver inside a 20-25 foot circle of you, you get a free assault, which you employ to journey them up. For those who journey them, you get one other free assault on them from Improved Journey. In the event that they attempt to stand up, or get away from you, you get one other Assault of Alternative. Any time they get remotely shut, simply transfer backwards just a few toes. You are near-untouchable and make it a nightmare for any of your opponents to do something.
Does it really work?
Just about, although it’s important to hope your DM by no means introduces a monster greater than you or in any other case good at resisting your journey makes an attempt. And, as immortalised in The Order of the Stick comedian, ensure that to look the place you are going.
Pun-Pun the Kobold
Maybe probably the most iconic overpowered construct in D&D historical past, Pun-Pun elevates one of many lowliest creatures within the Monster Handbook to godhood.
Creator: Khan the Destroyer
The strategy
The important thing to Pun-Pun is discovering a solution to remodel into one thing known as a “sarrukh”—the unique construct exploits an obscure racial template known as Mulhorandi Divine Minion mixed with a shapeshifting-focused status class known as Grasp of Many Kinds. As soon as you’ve got gained the power to show right into a Monstrous Humanoid of as much as 14 hit cube, you are golden—doable inside your first 5 ranges, by this technique, with a diversion into Wizard to get a viper acquainted.
Sarrukhs have a capability known as Manipulate Type, that lets them modify the stats of reptillian creatures (kobolds and vipers qualify, naturally). They will elevate capacity scores to match their very own, and even grant spell-like talents… together with Manipulate Type itself. Pun-Pun turns right into a sarrukh, makes use of Manipulate Type to offer his acquainted the Manipulate Type capacity, turns again right into a kobold, after which will get his acquainted to make use of Manipulate Type to offer Pun-Pun the Manipulate Type capacity too.
The outcome
Just a few additional steps are required, however the upshot is that Pun-Pun and his acquainted are actually free to endlessly elevate one another’s capacity scores. They will additionally grant one another just about any particular powers they need, because of the obscure wording of Manipulate Type. Fairly quickly Pun-Pun has over 20,000 Power, Dexterity and Structure, is aware of each spell and feat within the recreation, is proof against every thing, and completely invisible.
Does it really work?
Legendary as it’s, the Pun-Pun construct has some main holes in it, not the least of which is the truth that in an effort to shapeshift into one thing, it’s important to know what it’s—given the sarrukh are an extinct precursor race from tens of 1000’s of years prior to now, that is not particularly possible. Qualifying for the Grasp of Many Kinds class within the first place additionally requires some very over-generous studying of the Divine Minion’s guidelines, to not point out the query of the way you even handle to develop into a holy avatar of the Mulhorand pantheon of gods within the first place.
Peasant Railgun
Possibly extra of an idea than a construct, although it will kill a dragon in a single spherical simply the identical.
Creator: Unknown
The strategy
Rent about 2,000 peasants and inform them to face in a line. Get the one on the entrance to prepared his motion to make a throw assault, then get all those behind him to prepared their actions to cross a rock down the chain. Then get the peasant proper on the again to choose up a rock and cross it to the peasant in entrance of him.
The outcome
Because the peasants cross the rock alongside the chain, the rock travels about two miles in a single flip—which is six seconds real-time. That accelerates it to over 1000 miles an hour, over Mach 1, earlier than the peasant on the entrance chucks it. How a lot harm does that do? That is as much as the DM—however certainly sufficient to punch via just about something it hits. The Peasant Railgun can fireplace each two turns, or 12 seconds, making it fairly trivial to put waste to total fortifications. For extra energy, merely make the road of peasants longer.
Does it really work?
This one’s much less a reliable exploit and extra a technique of beginning an argument together with your DM. The important thing flaw within the Peasant Railgun is that it picks and chooses when to comply with the foundations of D&D, and when to as a substitute comply with the real-world legal guidelines of physics. If we comply with D&D guidelines to the letter, then the rock positive factors no bonuses in any respect, as a result of D&D does not have guidelines for acceleration like this. If we comply with the legal guidelines of physics, then the peasants cannot cross a rock at super-speed within the first place—and if they might, then the peasants within the latter half of the Railgun are getting their fingers blown off earlier than it may well attain the tip. Nonetheless, a great way to derail a quest you are not fascinated by with 4 hours of arguing about physics.
Psionic Sandwich
The great thing about this construct is that it is completely optimised to do one thing utterly pointless.
Creator: Tleilaxu_Ghola
The strategy
Get to stage 20 as a Telepath. Make a sandwich. Polymorph the sandwich right into a rabbit (or different small animal of your alternative). Use the Astral Seed energy to create a crystal that may retailer your thoughts and soul in case you die. Commit suicide. From inside the crystal, use the Thoughts Change energy to swap into the rabbit’s physique. Break the crystal. Use the Psychic Chirurgery energy to revive the degrees you misplaced by dying. Then, dispel all powers on your self.
The outcome
You are actually a stage 20 sandwich. With the Delicate Spell feat, you’ll be able to nonetheless use your psionic powers, enabling you to fly round and management individuals’s minds fairly fortunately, regardless of being product of bread and butter with ham in between.
Does it really work?
There’s an argument to be made that you just should not retain your psychological capacity scores as a sandwich, which might kill your profession as a Telepath, although you’ll nonetheless have succeeded at turning your self right into a sandwich, which was after all the true purpose right here. Past that, it is a foolproof construct.
Hen-Infested Commoner
This construct unleashes the potential of the sport’s weakest class. And its weakest farm animal.
Creator: Varied
The strategy
There’s just a few other ways this construct can go, however the very first thing you have to do is take a stage in Commoner—a feeble class often meant just for NPCs to make use of. Use that to qualify for the Hen-Infested feat, which was included as a part of an April Fools function on enjoying Commoners in Dragon journal (the official D&D journal). Because of this feat, each time you draw a weapon, you may have a 50% probability of drawing a dwell hen as a substitute. Then purchase your self a spell part pouch.
The outcome
Drawing an merchandise from a spell part pouch is a free motion, and the pouch can comprise as many elements as you want. Mix it with Hen-Infested, and you’ve got the facility to attract and drop as many chickens as you want in a flip. You might be an infinite hen machine.
There are just a few other ways to benefit from this. Utilizing necromancy, you’ll be able to quickly slay and lift them from the useless for a zombie hen military—even higher in case you take the Damaging Retribution feat to make them explode on loss of life. For those who favor to stand up shut and private, you’ll be able to throw a hen into fight, assault it, and use Cleave and Sweeping Strike to bounce a load of free assaults onto anybody standing close to it.
However actually, all that is simply displaying off. The reality is, there are few issues that may’t be solved simply with a thousand chickens showing out of skinny air. Set off each lure safely by hurling chickens. Pour them into your enemy’s fortress till there is not any room left for anybody to maneuver. Resolve world starvation. The probabilities are limitless.
Does it really work?
Just about. You possibly can undoubtedly be challenged on the abuse of free actions (there’s technically no restrict on what number of may be carried out in a flip, however the guidelines do warning frequent sense on this level) however all that basically does is decelerate your hen manufacturing. In case your use of the spell part pouch is disputed, simply take Fast Draw and as many golf equipment as you’ll be able to carry as a substitute (golf equipment are free, in spite of everything)—once more, it is simply lowering your price of chickens-per-minute, not stopping you.
Positive, the feat does technically come from an April Fools joke, however no less than it was a first-party April Fools joke, which makes it extra reliable than all of the third-party nonsense everybody else’s builds use.